But... I can't. I know how bad I would feel. I know how bad they would feel and that would make me feel worse. I know that if I said some of the things that I think, I would be in a lot of trouble. Have you ever seen those shows or movies where something happens and you're like, "Whoa, what?" Like, the hero of the story randomly jumps on the villain and just starts beating the crap out of them. Or, they chuck a book at their face right in the middle of a meeting. But then, it flashes back to the hero just standing there, not doing anything, just taking it. I often wish I could do that with my life. Visualize how doing something one way would turn out and see if I liked that or not. Then, flash back to reality.
I remember this show from when I was little, and this episode has always stuck with me. It was on Nickelodeon, called "So Weird", and about this girl who would always run into extremely odd situations. With aliens, and monsters, and people who were invisible, and ghosts and stuff. And, there was one episode that talked about how one decision can change a life. They used the example of what juice you choose to drink at breakfast. They showed two scenarios side by side, split screen. In the screen on the left, she chose apple juice. She grabbed the pitcher and poured the juice into her cup, and everything was fine. A normal day. In the screen on the right, she chose orange juice. She grabbed the pitcher, but it slipped from her hand. The orange juice spilled everywhere on the table and down the front of her shirt. She scrambled for napkins and towels but her shirt was permanently dyed orange. She was extremely upset, and she let that set the tone for the day. Then, the show put the two together. It showed how different the girl's life was because of the apple juice or the orange juice at breakfast.
Sometimes, when I'm day dreaming at work, bored out of my mind, I think, "Maybe if I had a bagel instead of pancakes, my day would have been more exciting."
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